


Just a kiss

by narayu



Series: Until I met you. [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-12
Updated: 2013-11-12
Packaged: 2018-01-01 06:51:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1041681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narayu/pseuds/narayu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of drabbles set after 3x05 - Good Form. Spoilers included. Events from Emma's eyes and from Killian's, emotional struggles and internal wars. Lots of Captain Swan feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just a kiss

"I was hoping it’d be you," he says, his voice dropping to a lower timbre and his eyes intently watching her as she obliges him and places her hand on his shoulder, rolling her eyes at his flirtation. He places the cuff on her wrist, his fingers lingering on her skin just a moment too long and he takes pleasure in the feel of her pulse quickening… even if he’s just imagining it.

When her arms tighten around him like she’s holding on for dear life, he feels a surge of excitement through him. “It’s about bloody time,” he says, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her against him properly. His heart sinks when she begins pushing him away, pointing out the trip wire and the cage it’s connected to. “Well that’s a plausible excuse for grabbing me, but next time don’t stand on ceremony.” He smiles at the resulting roll of her eyes, he’s getting used to that response and yet he’s thrilled by the challenge of her.

"Come, let’s go," he says, holding out his hand for her. When she places her own hand in his and meets his eyes, he thinks he’s finally won their game. He sees the trust there for a fleeting moment before something cold clasps around his wrist. She’s afraid, and because of that she’s going to leave him here in this bloody giant’s castle. When she tells him she can’t take the chance that she’s wrong about him, he can see the war going on behind her eyes and he knows he’s lost the game before its really begun.

\-----

As he slides his hook down her sword, pinning her to the ground, relishing in the sight of her squirming against him, but wishing it was in different circumstances, he knows he’s winning this time. “Normally, I prefer to do other more enjoyable activities with a woman on her back. With my life on the line, you’ve left me no choice. A bit of advice? When I jab you with my sword, you’ll feel it. You might want to quit.” He’s serious, but his tone is teasing, and he’s genuinely surprised when she brings her hand out from behind her back to show him that she’s got the compass in it once again. The last thing that crosses his mind is that she’s better than he thought, and that the game is just beginning, right before he blacks out from the blow against his head.

\-----

When she’s hovering over his hospital bed, a mixture of concern and anger in her eyes, he can’t help but rise to the occasion. “You look good, I must say. All ‘where’s Cora?’ in a commanding voice. Chills.” She rolls her eyes, and he loves it - the way he can get a reaction out of her so easily - right up until she demonstrates that his ribs are indeed broken. “Well, my ribs may be broken, but… Everything else is still intact.” He tries again to bait her, but she’s angry about what he’s done to Belle, and for now he’s satisfied that he’s done damage to the Crocodile’s heart, his own will have to wait. 

\-----

She seems surprised that he would save her father. It’s seemingly apparent to everyone but Miss Swan herself that Hook’s selfishness this time is due to his desire to please her. When he challenges her this time, he’s half expecting her to turn him down with another roll of her eyes. “Perhaps you’re the one who couldn’t handle it,” he counters her own challenge and her eyes dart to his lips, then his eyes, and then she’s grabbing his collar and pulling so that he crashes into her, their lips meeting with passion and hunger and he knows then that he won the game a long time ago, she was just too afraid to give in. When she pulls away, saying its a one time thing he knows she’s lying but he doesn’t care. He can feel the electricity of her kiss lingering against his lips long after she’s walked away, and he knows he’s done for. 

* * *

She tells herself she’s humoring him. Rising to the challenge. It’s just a kiss, just a show of gratitude, nothing more. A one time thing. She’s throwing him a bone.

But the moment before she pulls him into her she feels like a nervous school girl with her first crush. The weight of what’s about to happen bears down on her because she feels the necessity of it all.

When their lips connect she’s overcome by the passion in it - stronger, rawer passion than she can ever remember feeling. There’s a need that’s been burning within her and the way his hand finds its way into her hair simultaneously relieves it and fans the flames. She can feel herself gasping for air, taking it from him. She can feel him pulling her closer at the same rate as she does to him, as though nothing will ever be close enough.

When she forces herself to pull away - the kiss was too long, the feelings too real, the blood flushing to her cheeks too obvious - her body is shaking and she can’t make it stop. She wants to kiss him again and again and again. But they’re here for Henry.

When she tells him it was a one time thing, she thinks her voice almost conveys sincerity. She’s almost believable. But her chest is heaving because she can’t catch her breath - she’ll never be able to catch her breath - and when he responds with “As you wish” in a voice that conveys all the passion they’ve just shared, she knows she’s been lying to herself.

Emma Swan is lost again, not without a family, not as an orphan. She’s lost herself in Killian Jones, and as she walks away with lips still swollen and tingling and the taste of rum on her lips she realizes she doesn’t even care.

* * *

He had assumed that her secret was that she was still in love with Baelfire.

He had assumed she’d tell him she was always waiting for him, ready to make up for lost time, that it was time to reunite their family.

He had assumed… and when he saw them embrace at the end of the bridge built by secrets, he thought his assumptions were confirmed.

It didn’t stop him from shamelessly eavesdropping, didn’t stop him from listening in with self-deprecating hope.

But then he heard Emma apologize.

He heard her say she couldn’t help how she felt.

He heard Baelfire - no, Neal - tell her she never had to apologize after what he put her through.

And he thought perhaps, just maybe, he was wrong about her revelation. Perhaps there was still hope.

Then he heard the rest of it… Neal’s secret.

"I’ll never stop fighting for you."

It gave him pause - just for a moment, just a split second of hesitation when he thought it was for the best if he took a step back and let it play out. But he came to his senses as quickly as he had made his earlier assumptions.

 _Game on,_ thought Hook - considering his feelings for this woman, and everything he was willing to give up to see them through. It was the first time in nearly 300 years that he felt something other than the need for revenge, and no matter how much he cared for Bae, he wasn’t about to give that up without a fight.

He smirked at the thought, he did always love a challenge.

_Game on._

* * *

_Fool,_ she thought to herself as she cut through some invading tree branches along the path. They were making camp again before the final push to Pan’s camp and she had decided to get firewood to escape the thick tension in the clearing.

She had admitted her secret to Neal, and he had countered that he’d never stop fighting for her.

 _Pfft, when did you ever start?_ She thought bitterly as she pushed another branch out of her way. 

Then there was Hook, who all but professed his love to her  _in front of her parents_ and kept giving her these sorrowful looks, as if he was either apologizing for his feelings or realizing they were unrequited. And she couldn’t decide one way or the other at this point, there was too much going on - too much to focus on.

 

 _How do you get yourself into these messes,_ she asked herself… or at least she thought she did, but she must have spoken out loud because a moment later a voice drifted from her left.

"It’s simple really, you’re the savior," the smugness of Peter Pan had a way of digging claws into her skin and turning her vision red. 

She lunged at him, holding the sword to his throat as she had once before, and her threat was met with laughter which only fueled the fire in her.

"What’s wrong, Savior? Don’t like the attention? Can’t handle the boys quarreling over you?" he mocked her before disappearing and reappearing behind her.

"You know, you could leave Hook with me… take Baelfire and put your family back together." 

"You know I’m not going to do that," she spat the words in his face, "no one is being left behind."

The smirk that graced his face was cruel and made her sick. “Is it because you’re a hero, or because you really do care about him?”

Emma hesitated for a moment, wasn’t that the question she was trying to avoid asking herself? She looked down at the ground trying to find the answer in the underbrush.

"I… don’t know yet," she said finally. But when she looked up he was gone.

She sighed and slashed through another branch, harder than absolutely necessary after the encounter with Pan.

"Fool," she said to herself, this time out loud.

"There’s nothing foolish about being unsure, love." Came Hook’s voice from behind her, and she found herself relaxing exponentially at the sound.

Emma turned, realizing he had surely heard the conversation she had just had with Pan which was obviously the boy’s plan the whole time.

"Hook… I" she started, but he just smiled before raising his hand to stop her.

"Listen, darling, I fully expected you to see Bae -  _Neal_  - and decide you need to all be a family again. If that is the path you choose, I will be happy for you.” he said, smiling a sad smile. “I had to tell my secret to free him, I’m sorry if it’s made things more…. complicated.” he finished, rubbing his hand against the side of his neck just as he always did when he was saying something that made him uncomfortable.

She sighed again, and he raised an eyebrow, about to open his mouth to say something sarcastic she was sure, and she wasn’t going to give him the chance to diffuse the situation with humor.

"Hook…" he looked like he was going to interrupt again, "No, let me speak." she said with all the frustration seeping through her voice.

"My secret was that I was not happy when I heard Neal was alive," she told him quietly, clearly taking him by surprise.

"I don’t know what this is," she motioned from herself to him before meeting his eyes again. "but I’m not going to write it off before finding out."

She stepped closer to him and laid a hand on his arm, “I just need to find my son first, and get home.”

"Aye, lass," he said in barely a whisper before leaning down and placing a chaste kiss on her forehead, "lets all get some rest and go get Henry." 

* * *

She thought back to that first day they met, their adventure up the beanstalk, the way he had her pegged from the beginning.

"You’re afraid." He had said, and he was right, she was afraid to trust him. And in the end it was the fact that she  _did_  trust him, against her better judgement, that had her chaining him there under Anton’s protection.

Now, here in Neverland, here where she felt the true weight of the truth - that she was an orphan, a lost girl - she found herself drawn to him, trusting him over her parents, over Neal.

When Mary Margaret had told her Neal was alive, she found herself looking to Hook for confirmation, and it was there in his eyes.

She tried to tell herself she wasn’t disappointed at the revelation, but the echo cave had made her face the truth.

When Hook had told his secret, she was afraid again - because she still trusted him and was terrified that his secret would reveal to her that she had been wrong about him. But it didn’t. It revealed to her the truth that she’d been trying to avoid since that day they met… that Hook -  _Killian Jones_ \- was not a villain.

In the face of this new adventure, this Dark Hollow, she found herself looking to him again. Found herself trusting his truth over Neal’s. And now she was afraid yet again. Afraid of facing the truth of her feelings, afraid of what it would all mean once they returned to Storybrooke.

She saw a constant apology in his eyes since that day in the cave. No more flirtation or innuendo, and she almost missed it - the break in seriousness. But when she looked to him now, she didn’t feel afraid of  _him_ , she didn’t feel afraid of his motives.

Emma Swan had a knack for knowing when people were lying, and one thing she was sure of - Hook was not lying about his feelings for her.

Now if she could only stop lying to herself.

* * *

_How dare he_ , she thought as they walked toward the ominous Dark Hollow.

He not only told Neal about the kiss which was frankly not his place to share, but now he has the nerve to tell her she’d have to choose? A small, unwelcome voice in her head reminds her that if he meant nothing to her, she would have told Neal… and she wouldn’t be so burdened by the idea of choosing.

How dare he tell her she has to do anything other than find her son?

But then he looked at her with such conviction, such confidence that she’d succeed, and she found herself inexplicably soothed by his faith in her. It was strange how comforting his unwavering certainty in her was.

The truth was she knew she’d have to make a decision but there was no way she could think about that now.

——-

Deep in Dark Hollow, Emma was faced with a terrifying scene. Both Hook and Neal being torn apart by shadows. The damn fools had lost the lighter while fighting over her like a couple of children fighting over a new toy.

But it wasn’t the sight of them fighting against the shadows - and losing - that terrified her most. It was the tightening in her chest, the panic rising in her, the flood of emotion through her entire being that had her screaming.

In a moment of clarity she felt the magic flow through her fingertips and light the contraption just in time to capture the shadow.

Breathing heavily as the men on either side of her were released by their attackers, she realized the name on her lips in that defining moment had been Hook, and she was terrified to learn that her heart had made the choice before she’d even had time to consider it.

She heard the disgust in Neal’s voice when he realized she had used magic, and she didn’t even turn to look at him. When she saw Hook now, relief flooding into her, she knew she never really had a choice, it was always going to be him.

Not the pirate, but the man of honor. And not now, not until they found Henry and got off this hell of an island. But he was right, that’s when the real fun would begin.

* * *

They’re making camp again and the tension is rising. Neal is back and part of her feels like she needs to talk with him about… well… everything. But another part of her wants to give him space after revealing her secret, and if she’s being honest with herself, she could use some space too.

 

Mary Margaret and David are arguing in hushed tones against a tree to her right and she has the sudden feeling that she needs to give them some privacy.

Hook is nowhere to be seen, and she wouldn’t admit she was seeking him out anyway. So Emma gets to work on building a fire and practicing her minimal magic skills. She’s swearing under her breath with each attempt when she hears someone approach from behind her.

"Need some help, love?" Hook asks quietly, materializing from somewhere outside of the camp and she turns and flashes him a glare. She doesn’t have time to deal with him either. She tries not to think about all of it, the two men competing for her affection, she needs to keep her head in the game and the proximity of the pirate is not helpful to her cause. That’s a lie, he’s been more than helpful during this adventure, just perhaps not helpful to her personal emotional turmoil. She huffs at him and he’s raising an eyebrow at her in amusement.

"What?" she snaps at him, slightly more brusque than she intended.

His lips twitch up in that familiar smirk before he answers her.

"Nothing, darling, it just seems you’ve completed your task." he says, nodding toward the fire. She turns and the fire is ablaze. Emma’s jaw drops as she looks back to Hook, and his amusement is evident in his eyes. She remembers Gold’s words, that magic comes from emotion, and she tries to brush it off as frustration from everything going on, and nothing more.

She heaves a great sigh, the exhaustion finally seeping into her bones and sinks back against the tree behind her. Hook slides down to sit next to her a moment later and she doesn’t have the energy to argue or even give him a pointed stare. 

"You know, you’re no good to the boy if you don’t get any sleep, lass," he says softly.

He’s right, she knows he’s right, and she leans her head back against the tree, closing her eyes and enjoying the warmth of the fire.

"I know, Hook, I just don’t know if we’re going to win.." she says quietly.

"If there’s one thing I know about you, Emma, its that you always win," he tells her, reassuring her once again. And its the last thing she hears before she drifts to sleep.

When she wakes up, she’s leaning against him, her head resting on his shoulder. He has shifted them so that his arm is around her back, creating a soft barrier between her and the hard surface of the tree. She can tell he’s not asleep, his thumb is tracing light circles against her shoulder and she shifts infinitesimally against him. She feels him lean down, feels his lips against her hair as he places a kiss against her head and she sighs. 

Hook stills immediately, clearly waiting for her to yell at him or scramble away from him, or something. She considers doing just that for a moment before realizing how extremely relaxed she is, how comfortable she is against him.

After a moment, she feels him physically relax against her and she smiles.

"Don’t get used to it." she whispers against his arm.

"Wouldn’t dream of it, love." he replies, the smile clearly evident in his voice.

 

 


End file.
